Lazybum Recipes: Introduction

Today, I am introducing a brand-new feature onto the bustling pages of Hermitina: Lazybum Recipes!

What is a Lazybum Recipe? Well, you see, I always intend quite seriously to cook elaborate dinners every night, which would include white truffle oil, saffron, lemongrass, and sunflower butter. However, I don’t know how to cook that well, and I lack time and momentum, so Real Fancy Cooking hardly ever happens, despite all my earnest bookmarking of interesting recipes.

As you can tell from my continued typing, I have not died of malnutrition. While this is partly due to having easy access to grocery stores with tasty pre-made meals, it is helped along by a handful of disgustingly simple things I like to make/cook, which also happen to be passingly nutritious. These are the famous Lazybum Recipes.

Lazybum Recipes tend to have less than eight ingredients, and they often involve ingredients that can be used up all in one go, to avoid having rutabaga slivers or 1/8 of a carton of buttermilk sitting around in the fridge for weeks after the cooking is done. When I was 10, my stabs at gourmet cooking centered on bread-and-butter balls and microwaved satsuma mandarins; my tastes have evolved since then, but barely.

Questions? Comments? The first in the series will go live later this week, and more will follow as I get inspired. I trust they will be deeply educational.

Once, my friend TJ, my mother, and I tried to make chocolate cake and roast potatoes concurrently. This is what happened: a chocolate cake with bonus embedded potato.

7 thoughts on “Lazybum Recipes: Introduction

  1. Can’t wait for Recipe #1!! Just a few days ago, I tried to bake a SLICE of pumpkin pie, which I neatly cut out of a Marie Callender opus. The result–of course, having no restraining “edges” at the two sides — was a sort of pumpkin pancake, burned around the edges–but not bad in the “stuffing” part. Love, G.

    1. That is a delightful and amusing story – thank you for sharing! I really can’t blame you.
      Did I send you those pictures of one of my rum cake attempts from years past? For some reason, it went quite flat and pudding-y — but of course I ate it all nonetheless.

  2. How did that HAPPEN?
    Yes, I have a request: what was that quinua-cranberry thing you were eating at Ma’s house? I was impressed. My favorite part of the idea of a certified Lazybum Recipe is to prevent useless leftover bits of ingredients-although it would make someone like me feel so dang productive, opening the fridge and seeing shriveled up rutabega slivers alongside the near-empty jar of old BBQ sauce, and keeping the eye creams company (I mean really: we rarely have more than a day’s worth of food in our fridge.)
    The only “cooking” I ever did as a child-and this strrrretched the limits of my creativity-was carefully peeling one Granny Smith apple and, just as carefully, pouring sugar on top. I was so proud.

    1. The potatoes and chocolate cake? Lord knows. My best guess is that there were wee sprites inside the oven who knocked them down mid-bake.

      Oh thank you, re: quinoa! You read my mind, in fact — that is the second recipe I plan to share. It’s quite easy. As it should be.

      I wish someday you would teach ME how to peel and sugar apples. It sounds a delicate art.

  3. Don’t I remember your doing something with snails when you were young?
    I eagerly await recipes.

  4. Yes! I remember it too-the pictures, that is-of a whole crockpot teaming with live snails, in South Africa.

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